The football season is over. The big game has been played and lots of people are full of chicken wings, nachos and beer. What’s next?
Perhaps it’s time to pause and contemplate instituting a new program that a few of my outdoor pals and I have been mulling over in our minds for a few years – a “Men in the Indoors,” aka the “MITI,” program. There have been various forms of women and outdoor programs for years. We appreciate it. This is the perfect time of year to launch the program. After all, there aren’t many seasons open now for hunting and fishing.
The MITI program works the same way that women’s outdoors’ programs run, perhaps a daylong series of workshops or seminars or even, a weekend retreat.
And, lest you think I’m a man-basher … know that my husband taught me to cook better, to hunt and to shoot, and that I’m the mom of three grown sons who cook, clean, hunt, fish, compete in Iron Man events, and one is even hoping to qualify for Special Ops in the Army. I always operated on the concept that once the boys completed their own-tailored-to-them MITI programs — like cleaning their rooms or folding their laundry — they could go outside and “be all that they could be.” Oh yeah, and the son who competes in Iron Man events actually irons his own shirts.
The MITI program – empowering men inside.
Son #1, Ian
Lets’ start with a suggestion for a workshop from my pal who runs women’s outdoor workshops in the industry: Game Day Snack Preparation. Instruction to include how to open multiple chip bags without spillage, how to nuke food without the need to call the fire department, and the selection of foods that will cause the loudest flatulence. Coupons will be distributed. It is recommended that you wear sweats and a sweatshirt to attend this class. Class sponsored by Hormel chili and Doritos brand chips.
Here are a few titles from a well-known self-help book author with two last names. These courses need to be developed further:
Son #2, Adam
What lawnmowers and vacuum cleaners have in common.
Why cats aren’t a man’s best friend and other female mysteries solved.
What the Super Bowl and childbirth have in common.
Finally, a few more for consideration:
No more pink underpants 101: How to sort laundry
No more whining: How to throw a birthday party at home for 20 children under the age of 5
And for those older than 18: When all she really wants is a back rub
Son #3, Alec
How about you? Do you have any suggestions for the MITI program? And stay tuned, because we’ll be developing further course ideas in the near future for women’s outdoor programs and you’ll have your opportunity to let us know then what you’d like to see.
~Barbara Baird
Twitter: http://twitter.com/babbsbaird
Facebook: http://facebook.com/babbsthewon
From the Baird family photo album: After the boys completed their MITI programs for the day, they went outside and built a potato gun.
Publisher/Editor Barbara Baird is a freelance writer in hunting, shooting and outdoor markets. Her bylines are found at several top hunting and shooting publications. She also is a travel writer, and you can follow her at https://www.ozarkian.com. View all posts by Barbara Baird
Hi Barb. Good article. I’ve been through that course. I raised two daughters that kept me at bay around the house. They wouldn’t even let me show off my coontusk “toothpick” necklaces. My hat’s off to ya raising three stinky boys. You’ve earned the right to be somewhat of a “man-basher”. Thanks for keeping us amused and informed.
Yes, for the same reason that I enrolled in the “Throw two rocks through two sliding glass door windows at the same time and never have to use the dang weedeater ever again!”
Did you ever think that men had their own MTI program with courses like: Shrink her favorite sweater and get out of doing laundry forever!
Sounds like a GREAT program! What a fantastic family ~How are you getting these men to sign up? I would love to here the inside story on your tactics….
You go GIRL!
These men are graduates of the program, but they were forced to take it as boys. Thanks, Jane, and good to hear from you. Was thinking Team Huntress this past weekend.
Ha-ha!
What a terrific and amusing post, Barb! I’m still laughing. Always fun and informative to read what you write. Hope Jason, Ian, Adam and Alec appreciate their good fortune.